How NOT to start your day (not actual pic)

File this under: I never thought this would happen to me or, I thought this only happened in the movies.

Driving down Garnet this morning on my way to work and I’m on a con-call with the Birmingham office.
Usually I use my earpiece but it’s out of juice so I do it the old fashioned way (handheld) which I hate, but what are you going to do?

There’s a little more traffic than usual but nothing too crazy. I had just finished talking and decided to put my phone on mute since I
Thought we were wrapping things up. Look down for a second to mute and as soon as I look back up I realize traffic had stopped.

Screeched on the breaks but I was a tad too late and I smacked the car in front of me… Didn’t hit it too hard but this is my first accident and
I’m a little surprised. I wished that was the end of the story….


I hang up my phone and then I realize, I’ve just rear ended a police officer L

I get out and walk over to his door, he radios something in and then steps out. Here is the dialog that follows:

Cop: You alright
Me: Yeah I’m fine, you ok?
Cop: Yeah, I’m fine

I survey the damage and notice that there about a 1 inch scratch on my bumper and that’s it.. Then I see that his bumper is pretty bent up L

Cop: Let’s pull off into that Weinerschnitzal parking lot
Me: Ok

We pull over and continue to survey the damage while he radios it in.

Me: I guess you can’t do you own accident report?
Cop: No, I have to get a traffic cop over here to fill it out
Cop: Funny thing is I was just on my way to a traffic accident
Me: Yeah, funny………

A second Cruiser shows up after about 10min

Cop#2: Pulls in next to Cop#1, rolls down window and just starts laughing at Cop #1

A third cruiser arrives a minute behind #2

Cop#3 Pulls in next to my car and gets out.
Cop#3: Looks at me and then looks at cop #1
Cop#3: Points at me and says, “why isn’t he handcuffed?”
Me: (poops a little)
Cop#3: Laughs and then says to cop #1, “Why aren’t you handcuffed?”

Cop#2: Laughs Hysterically
Cop#1: Nervous Laugh..

A motorcycle cop now rolls up into the fracas.

Cop #3: Looks at me and says, “so officer Thomas was doing about 30MPH when he backed into you?”
Cop#2,3,4: Laughing Hysterically
Me: (Thinks about going with that but decides to say nothing)

Cop #4 walks me to the scene and asks me the basic questions

Cop#4: Where were you heading?
Me: Work
Cop#4: What Happened?
Me: Looked down for a second and when I looked up traffic had stopped.
Cop#4: Shit happens
Cop#4: Were you on the cell phone?
Me: (Ashamed) Yes

Cop#3: Don’t worry about it, I rear ended someone in this (points to cruiser) last week.
Me: Nervous laugh…

Cop#4 Gets my DL info and insurance info and says ok, you can go now…
Cop#4: I’m not sure how this works but I assume we’ll just bill your insurance company or something.
Me: Um, ok… I don’t need to sign anything?
Cop#4: Nope, you’re all set.

And that was my Tuesday morning! I guess I’m glad I didn’t get a ticket out of it and kind of hope their mechanic just looks at the dented fender and says “fuck it” but we’ll see…..